photographers... BOOOOO!

why????

i googled "affordable wedding photographers Albany NY" and of course got about 67,000 results.

having now visited about 934 of the pages, i can tell you that affordable is a very relative term.

i LOVE the photographers who have links to their wedding packages where they tell you all the beautiful details about what the various platinum, super platinum, super duper platinum, and super duper pooper platinum packages include. they boast about their stunning,jaw dropping, competitive pricing - pricing that they swear is going to make you faint.

so i scroll down the page, looking for the $ sign. or, heck, if they are so affordable, maybe i'm looking for a CENT sign - wouldn't that be SWEET (this is the first time i actually realized that there is no easy access cent sign on a keyboard. i truly think that with the economy being what it is today, we should all storm the white house demanding that the dollar sign be replaced by the cent sign. everybody in)?

but.. wait... (insert rubbing of eyes a la John Stewart) where's the pricing?

and then you see, in baby itty bitty font "please contact us for more information regarding our rates"

RED FLAG!! RED FLAG!!

cause, i mean, c'mon! if the rates were THAT affordable, wouldn't you want to post them? scare the competition? me thinks your affordable pricing may not be so affordable after all.

and then there are the very funny photographers who, even though they are based in smallBany, NY, insist on having basic package pricing starting at $3,495.00. they don't even use the word "pricing". they use the word "investment". its right next to the "payment plan" button. why is my skin getting itchy?

we don't need much, honestly. we don't want to make our family members sit for hours on end in awkward postures as their babies get increasingly impatient and fussy. we don't need blurred edges or hand tinted black and whites, or photos of me frolicking with small children and exotic animals in fields of golden wheat. we won't have an antique car at the weddin, so that cuts down the photos by about 300 prints, right?

i've come up with a plan. i am going to go stand outside the SUNY campus' fine arts building and tackle all the students i see entering or leaving the building with any sort of camera apperatus. i will offer them three years of ramen noodle dinners (i think that probably still comes out to be under $1,000) in exchange for wedding photos. they will be so happy. i will be so happy. until the day of my wedding, when they call me and tell me they drank a little too much the previous night and aren't feeling so hot, so could i maybe move my wedding to the following weekend and they would promise not to drink the night before? and i would be so sad. and they would still be happy.

plan B. make 639 phone calls to local photographers who may possibly offer "affordable yet creative yet professional" services.

but i'm open to suggestions.